Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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