we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize