Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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