does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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