Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
