I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
