whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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