You made me cry and you don't even care
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
