dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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