i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
