But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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