Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
