Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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