Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
