And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
