it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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