member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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