You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
