We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
