Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
