I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think I won the penis lottery.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
