yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
