On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
