just come out here and I will go home with you...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
