he thought i was a dude.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
