Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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