The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
