we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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