singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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