a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
