So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
