i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
