I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
