hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
