Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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