Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
