was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
