I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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