just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
