I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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