So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize