I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
