so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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