i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
