i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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