Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize