Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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