Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
