Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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