$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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