why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize