Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
