Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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