the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
