theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
why do cheetos always look like penises
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize