Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
