did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
