What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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