my phone needs a breathalizer
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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