So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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