Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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