In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
