if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
