Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
