Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
