i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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