You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
